It's a bag of cheaply made random promotional knicknacks. You read the description...
STRAIGHT FROM THE [Luxuruous Offices] OF [Busin3ss GuRU] SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!!!
ANOTHER [$#&!]-D UP [Deal] FROM [The Classics You've Come to Expect (1997)]!
WHAT!? ARE YOU CALLING THIS A BAG OF [Wednesday Trash]!? LOOK AGAIN, YOU [Little Sponge]! THIS BAG OF [Unforgettable] [Garbage] IS GOING TO HAVE YOU [Scream for the Cream!]. [Now including] SPAMTON-BRANDED TOP CLASS ITEMS LIKE [Temporary Tattoo], [Little Sponge], KROMER [Pencil], AND MORE! ALL WITH THE [High, High Quality] YOU HAVE COME TO EXPECT FROM SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!
"IT'S FUN FOR THE !" -- Spamton
NO FRIENDS? DON'T [Worry your little heart out]. YOU DON'T NEED [Friends]! YOU CAN HAVE [Musical] PIPIS!